OK, SO NOW EVERYONE I KNOW IS PREGNANT. IS IT IN THE WATER SOMEWHERE? IF SO LET ME KNOW WHERE IT IS! MY CO-WORKER, AMYE, AT WORK HAS JUST TOLD ME SHE IS PREGO. ALTHOUGH, SHE MENTIONED IT IS NOT A WANTED ONE. THEY CLAIM THEY USE TWO METHODS OF BIRTH CONTROL, AND LA-DEE-DAH STILL PREGO. I WANTED TO SHAKE HER UNCONTROLLABLY UNTIL HER NECK WAS BROKEN. LOOK HERE BIOTCH, YOU'D BETTER BE HAPPY ABOUT IT 'CUZ I'M RIGHT HERE AND GOING THROUGH INFERTILITY. AND SHE KNOWS IT. YUP. HOW INSENSITIVE. HERE, LET ME FIND YOU A FLIGHT OF FUCKING STAIRS TO FALL DOWN...IN FACT, I'LL PUSH YOU! HA HA HA! I KNOW...PRETTY DAMN EVIL.

MY FRIEND COLLEEN JUST HAD HER 4TH BABY, SARAH IS ON HER 3RD, DEJAH ON HER 2ND, MINDY ON HER 2ND, MONIQUE ON HER 2ND, AND NOW AMYE ON HER 2ND. THANKS ALOT YA'LL FOR THE RUBBING IT IN PART. I GUESS I SHOULDN'T BE SO SPITEFUL. I AM HAPPY FOR ALL OF THEM, BUT I WISH I COULD BE IN THEIR SHOES. YEAH, TRY BEING PREGNANT, HAVING A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL, HAVE HER TAKEN AWAY, SHE'S LEGALLY ADOPTED OUT TO YOUR EX-HUSBAND'S PARENTS UNTIL SHE'S 18, AND JUST WHEN YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT SHE IS IN A GOOD PLACE UNTIL SHE IS OLD ENOUGH TO DECIDE WHAT SHE WANTS, THEN MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE, RE-MARRY, HAVE A GOOD LIFE AND WORK HARD TO ACHIEVE THINGS YOU WANT AND THEN DISCOVER YOU CAN'T HAVE ANOTHER CHILD. YUP, THERE'S THE IRONIC BOMB. I AM REALLY TRYING TO CONTROL THE ISSUE WITH BEING INFERTILE. I AM TRYING TO RESEARCH PCOS ON MY OWN TO LEARN MORE, AND DO MORE ABOUT IT. IT'S SO EASY FOR OTHERS TO SAY "JUST ADOPT" YEAH WELL FUCK YOU IN THE EAR OK?! ONCE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN, YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING LESS!

I HAVE A DOCTOR APPT. ON FRIDAY TO SPEAK WITH HER ABOUT MORE I CAN DO IF POSSIBLE. DON JUST TURNED 40 AND I'M CREEPING UP ON 27 AND NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER. I DON'T WANT TO BE 60 YRS OLD AND HAVING TO WAIT FOR MY 18 YR OLD TO MOVE OUT. I SHOULDN'T SAY THAT EITHER. I GUESS WHAT I REALLY WANT IS TO START OVER THE RIGHT WAY. I AM IN A BETTER RELATIONSHIP, HAVE THE THINGS I WANT AND NEED, I AM SURROUNDED BY MORE FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I FEEL LIKE I HAD ONLY 6 WEEKS OF TRIAL MOTHERHOOD WITH MY DAUGHTER AND WANT IT BACK SO BADLY.

LOOKING BACK IN MY LIFE ABOUT THE LAST 15 YRS, I HAVE SOME WONDERFUL FRIENDS. MY ULTIMATE BEST FRIEND IS MINDY, WHOM I CAN ALWAYS RELY ON. WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS SINCE OCT. 25TH 1985. HOW FUNNY, WE EVEN KNOW THE DATE SINCE WE CELEBRATE IT. SHE IS THE GREATEST. WE ARE BOTH GODMOTHERS TO EACH OTHER'S CHILD. WE'VE NEVER EVER HAD AN ARGUMENT UNLESS WE COUNT THE TIME WHEN WE WERE TOTALLY BEING WEIRDOS ON DECIDING WHO WAS THE CUTEST NEW KID ON THE BLOCK! HA HA. THEN THERE'S MARGO, MY "SISTER" I CAN BE SOMEWHAT WILD AND CRAZY WITH HER. SHE BRINGS OUT THE GOOD IN ME. WE WENT TO HAWAII TOGETHER, AND HAD A BLAST. WE'VE BEEN THERE FOR EACH OTHER. COLLEEN AND LISA ARE GREAT! LISA IS THE EVIL, GET AWAY WITH MURDER INNOCENT IN HER PARENT'S EYES, WHILE COLLEEN IS SHY, SOFT SPOKEN WONDEFUL MOTHER OF SOON TO BE 4 GREAT KIDS. LISA IS FUNNY, AND OUTGOING. I LOVE TO PLAY AND CAUSE CHAOS WITH COLLEEN'S KIDS! THEY ARE SO CUTE AND OF COURSE SO IS LISA'S CUTIE DAUGHTER. SARAH, I DON'T GET TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH VERY MUCH, BUT WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE 8TH GRADE. HOLLY, WHO IS MY PEN PAL WHO IS IN NEW ORLEANS. LAQUANCE WHO IS MY GREAT FRIEND SINCE 7TH GRADE AND MY GOOFY GIRL! WELL, I AM GETTING SO SLEEPY, I WILL HAVE TO FINISH THE FRIEND LIST LATER. I HAVE TO WORK IN THE MORNING. BLAH.

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