WELL I'LL BE DAMNED. OBVIOUSLY OUR WEEKEND GETAWAY TO SPOKANE WAS A SHITTY ONE AND CUT WAY SHORT. HMMM, WHERE DO I BEGIN?

WE GET TO MY GRAMMA'S HOUSE, AND THAT WAS ABOUT 11AM. SHE TOOK US UP TO THE NURSING HOME WHERE CHARLIE IS (HER SENIOR COMPANION THAT WOULD'VE BEEN MARRIAGE #10). WE STAYED UP THERE FOR NEARLY 2 HRS. WE THEN WENT TO LUNCH AT TACO TIME BY NORTHTOWN MALL.

WE WENT BACK TO HER HOUSE TO DROP OFF MY HUSBAND, SO HE COULD HELP HER FRIEND WITH HIS TAXES (WHICH IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER WASTE OF HUMAN TIME) MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN HELPING HIM WITH HIS TAXES FOR THE PAST 3 YRS FOR FREE! I'LL TRY TO COME BACK TO THAT TRAIN WRECK LATER. SO GRAMMA AND I WENT BACK UP TO NORTHTOWN MALL TO DO SOME SERIOUS SHOPPING! HAHAHAHA! YEAH FUCKIN' RIGHT.

WE GET THERE AND WE ALWAYS BRING THE WHEELCHAIR SO I CAN WHEEL HER AROUND. OUR FIRST STOP IS JC PENNEY'S WHERE SHE BOUGHT A BUNCH OF FLEECE SHIRTS FOR MY DISTANT COUSINS FOR NEXT YEAR'S XMAS GIFTS. I FOUND SOME PAJAMAS IN THE BIG BOY DEPT FOR MY HUBBY. I WAS TOTALLY STOKED ABOUT THAT ONE SINCE I ONLY SPENT $16 ON HIS TWO ITEMS! WE WENT BACK DOWNSTAIRS, AND I TOOK OUR BAGS OUT TO THE CAR AND CAME BACK IN THE MALL. WE CRUISED AROUND THE FIRST FLOOR AND I WAS SURPRISED AT ALL THE STORES THAT HAVE EITHER CLOSED DOWN OR HAD BEEN NEWLY ADDED SINCE I USED TO WORK AND LIVE IN THE MALL! BY THE TIME WE WHEELED INTO NORDSTROM RACK, THAT'S WHEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. ALL WAS FINE AND DANDY UNTIL WE WERE OVER BY THE SHOE DEPT AND I WAS LOOKING FOR A SECTION THAT HAD BEEN MOVED APPARENTLY, AND COMING BACK THE SAME AISLE WAS THE SAME HANDBAG THAT WAS STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE THAT WE HAD PASSED ALL BUT 2 MINUTES BEFORE. I WHEELED HER COMPLETELY AROUND IT LIKE WE HAD MINUTES BEFORE AND SHE TOLD ME TO GO BACK AND PICK IT UP AND PUT IT AWAY. UM.......EXCUSE ME?!! NO! I KEPT WHEELING HER AND SHE PUT ON THE BRAKE AND A LADY BEHIND ME RAN RIGHT INTO ME. I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?! SHE SAID GO BACK AND I TOLD HER NO, I WAS NOT GOING BACK TO DO IT. AND PROCEEDED TO TRY TO PUSH HER CHAIR. PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO GET AROUND US AND SHE'S ALL THROWING A HISS FIT OVER SOMETHING THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH US. I CAME UP 150 MILES TO HAVE A GOOD DAY WITH HER AND NOT PLAY THE ROLE OF A RETAIL CLERK. SO SHE TRIES TO GET OUT OF HER WHEELCHAIR, AND I TELL HER TO CHILL OUT AND SIT DOWN. OVER AND OVER, SO THEN SHE'S BEING A PILL BY THIS TIME AND I TELL HER TO SIT HER ASS BACK IN THE CHAIR. APPARENTLY SHE WANTS TO GET UP AND MOVE THE ITEM OUT OF THE AISLE THAT WE HAD PASSED A MINUTE BEFORE AND MAKING A BIG SCENE, I TOLD HER TO WHEEL HER OWN FAT ASS BACK TO HER CAR IF SHE WANTS TO BECAUSE THIS IS NOT WHAT I CAME UP TO TOWN FOR. I DON'T CARE WHO THE HELL SHE THINKS SHE IS, I AM NEARLY 28 YRS OLD AND NOBODY WILL TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO. I LEFT HER ALL ALONE IN NORDSTROM RACK, CALLED DON TO TELL HIM TO CUT HIS MEETING SHORT AND COME GET ME IN FRONT OF BARNES AND NOBLE. HE'S ALL OF COURSE TRYING TO TELL ME NOT TO LEAVE HER ETC. I SAID COME GET ME, HE THEN TELLS ME HE DIDN'T BRING HIS SET OF KEYS. FUCK! I TELL HIM FINE, THEN I SEE OLD HAG WHEELING HERSELF BESIDE ME PRETENDING THAT SHE DOESN'T SEE ME, WHICH IS FINE 'CUZ I PRETENDED NOT TO SEE HER EITHER (I COULD SEE HER REFLECTION IN THE GLASS OF THE OLD GORDON'S JEWELERS STORE FRONT) I TOOK THE ESCALATOR UP AND KINDA JUST WATCHED HER FROM ABOVE TO MAKE SURE SHE WAS OK. BY THE TIME SHE WHEELED HERSELF RIGHT BY CINNABON, I LEFT THROUGH SEARS AND WALKED THE FOUR BLOCKS BACK TO HER HOUSE. I GOT THERE ABOUT 4 MINUTES BEFORE SHE DID. I TOLD DON TO HURRY UP AND MOVE AND TO TELL HIS CLIENT GOODBYE BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING........NOW!

I WENT TO MY CAR STARTED IT UP, AND WAITED ABOUT 2 MINUTES FOR HIM TO COME OUT. WHILE I WAS INSIDE, SHE DROVE HER CAR INTO THE GARAGE. I LET HIM SAY GOODBYE TO HER. AND WE LEFT. WE WENT TO GO TO ANOTHER STORE UP NORTH DIVISION, AND IT HAD MOVED TO THE VALLEY, SO WE DECIDED TO SEE IF MY FRIEND MINDY WAS HOME, BUT SHE WAS OUT SHOPPING W/HER MOM. SO WE TOLD HER HUSBAND THAT IF WE WERE STILL IN TOWN, THAT WE'D CALL. WE JUST DECIDED THAT WE SHOULD JUST GO HOME. THIS WAS ABOUT 4PM. WE GOT ON THE ROAD, STILL RAINING FROM THAT MORNING! JEEZ! THEN THE RAIN STOPPED ABOUT 5 MINUTES LATER. WE GET ABOUT 25 MILES OUT OF TOWN, AND I GET A FLAT TIRE ON MY DRIVER REAR SIDE. DAMN. SO WE GET READY TO CHANGE IT AND SOME OLDER COUPLE PULLS UP BEHIND US TO HELP. HOW NICE. IT HAD JUST STARTED TO GET DARK TOO. THAT TOOK ABOUT TEN MINUTES AND WE WERE ON OUR WAY. WE GOT HOME QUARTER TO SEVEN.

WE GOT TO RELAX AND LIE DOWN. THE PHONE RANG AND IT WAS MY PAL COLLEEN. WE CHAT FOR A WHILE, SOMEONE HAD COME KNOCK ON OUR DOOR, BUT WE DIDN'T GET UP TO GO ANSWER IT.OH WELL, I KINDA THINK IT WAS PROBABLY ONE OF HIS MORMON BIBLE THUMPERS WHO NEVER HEARD OF THIS COOL INVENTION CALLED A "TELEPHONE" TO CALL AHEAD TO SEE IF IT'S OK TO COME VISIT.I HATE THAT! THEY ALWAYS COME AT NIGHT TOO, WHEN WE'VE ALREADY SETTLED FOR THE NIGHT AND IN OUR JAMMIES. GRRRR.

THEN WE ORDER PIZZA. IT CAME PRETTY QUICK, NO WONDER 'CUZ THEY SCREWED IT UP! THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO PUT BEEF ON ONE SIDE, WELL THEY DIDN'T PUT ANY TOPPINGS ON ONE SIDE AT ALL, AND HALF OF THE OTHER SIDE SLID OFF! SO WE CALLED AND COMPLAINED, THEY SAID THEY'D COME GIVE US A NEW ONE. WELL IF THAT DIDN'T TAKE LIKE AN HOUR! I CALLED AND BITCHED CUZ WE DIDN'T EAT THE FUCKED UP ONE, WE WANTED TO SHOW IT TO THEM BY THIS TIME IT'S 10PM. DON TALKED TO THEM AND THEN THE GUY CAME TO THE DOOR. WHATEVER DOMINOS!

TODAY I WOKE UP AND IT IS SUNNY AND NO RAIN!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. TODAY WE WILL RUN OVER TO THE OUTLET MALL TO A BOOKSTORE SINCE THEY'RE CLOSING AND SEE WHAT THEY HAVE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE WE WILL DO FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.

BACK TO MR. TRAIN WRECK. THIS GUY THAT DON HELPS WITH HIS TAXES IS A FRIEND OF MY GRAMMA'S. HE CAME DOWN TO HELP FIX OUR SHINGLES ON THE ROOF AND ADJUST OUR GATE. (HALF-ASSED ON THE GATE I MIGHT ADD)HE HAS BACK TAXES HE HAS TO RESOLVE AND IT IS A NIGHTMARE FOR MY HUSBAND. HE TELLS THE GUY EXACTLY WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO FILE, HOW TO DO IT, ETC AND THE GUY EACH AND EVERY TIME WILL DO IT LATE! HE GETS IT DONE WHEN THE EXTENSION EXPIRES. SO THEN HE CALLS EVERYTIME THE IRS SENDS HIM A LETTER ABOUT PENALTIES ETC. I FINALLY TOLD MY HUSBAND TO FINISH THIS LAST YEAR OF HIS BACK TAXES AND CUT HIM OFF. HE CAN GO PAY AN ACCOUNTANT TO DO THIS SHIT. PLUS HE ONLY DID IT CUZ MY GRAMMA ASKED MY HUBBY IF HE COULD HELP HIM. WELL WE'RE DONE. AT LEAST I TOLD MY HUSBAND TO CUT HIM OFF. HE ONLY DID IT FOR MY GRAMMA. WELL NOW THAT SHE IS BEING A BRAT, FORGET IT. WE DON'T OWE HER ANYTHING FOR FAVORS.

YES, I KNOW THAT MY GRAMMA AND I ARE VERY SIMILAR AS FAR AS ATTITUDE, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO DO WHAT I DON'T WANT TO DO. I'M NOT LIVING WITH HER ANYMORE AND I AM MY OWN PERSON. WE'RE BOTH HEADSTRONG AND STUBBORN AND OPINIONATED. I HAVE KINDA DECIDED THAT WHENEVER SHE IS DONE BEING MAD AT ME, THAT SHE CAN CALL ME. I'M NOT GONNA CAVE IN AND CALL HER SINCE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WOULD SAY. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. IT IS BOTH OF OUR FAULTS, AND THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS. I KNOW IT'S TERRIBLE TO LEAVE ANYONE ON A NEGATIVE NOTE, BUT TOO LATE NOW. I GUESS IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO ONE OF US, WE'D TAKE IT TO OUR GRAVE.

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