HOW WEIRD. SPEAKING OF YESTERDAY'S ENTRY REGARDING AN EX-BOYFRIEND, I HAD ONE COME INTO MY STORE TODAY. WHOA. IT WASN'T A BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING, IT WAS JUST KINDA FUNNY. I TOTALLY PLAYED IT COOL. I WASN'T NERVOUS OR ANYTHING. I DID TREAT RASHAD AND HIS FIANCE WITH RESPECT AND PROFESSION. I LOOKED AT THEM WHEN THEY WALKED IN, AND HE KINDA LOOKED AT ME AND THAT'S WHEN I KNEW. I ASKED THEM WHAT I COULD HELP THEM WITH. I LEAD THEM OVER TO THE BRIDAL CASES. HE SAID " I THINK I KNOW YOU." I SAID HELLO RASHAD, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? WE MADE SMALL TALK FOR THE NEXT 10 MINUTES.
I HAD MET HIM BACK IN 1996. WE HAD A BIT OF FUN. STRICTLY DATING, NEVER HAD SEX, NEVER EVEN WENT TO 2ND BASE. I DIDN'T LIKE THE FACT THAT AS WE WERE DATING, HE WAS ALWAYS TRYING TO LIKE FEEL ME UP ON MY BREASTS. I MEAN I KNOW I HAVE BIG BOOBS, BUT DAMN BABY........DO YA HAVE TO TRY TO FEEL ME UP IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I FELT AT THAT POINT HE DIDN'T RESPECT ME. THEN THERE WAS THE FACT THAT HE WAS THE ONLY MULATTO GUY I HAD EVER DATED. SO I WAS ALWAYS USED TO DATING WHITE GUYS. I'M MULATTO MYSELF. IT WAS A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE. I COULDN'T STAND THE WAY HE KISSED, AND HIS LIPS WERE SO BIG. SCARED ME. WHOA.
HE WAS KINDA ATTRACTIVE, PLAYED COLLEGE BASKETBALL, HIS FOLKS WERE REALLY NICE. I FELT KINDA BAD BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO HIM WAS ON THE PHONE AND OUT OF THE BLUE, I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T WANT TO HANG OUT ANYMORE. MY GRAMMA REALLY LIKED HIM. YES, HE WAS A VERY NICE MAN, BUT I DIDN'T SEE MYSELF BEING W/HIM, AND DIDN'T SEE THE POINT IN WASTING HIS OR MY TIME. MY GRAMMA AND I HAD A FIGHT AND SOMEHOW SHE WAS SAYING SOMETHING TO THE EXTENT OF HOW RASHAD WAS SUCH A GOOD GUY AND HOW HE WAS PERFECT, AND I REBUTTED AND TOLD HER THAT IF HE WAS SO PERFECT AND A GENTLEMAN, THAT HE WOULDN'T TRY TO FEEL ME UP! SHE SAID I WAS MAKING IT UP AND THAT SHE COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT HE WOULD DO SUCH A THING. HAHA! LITTLE DID SHE KNOW. I GUESS I WASN'T MATURE ENOUGH TO HAVE THE PROPER COMMUNICATION TO TELL RASHAD THAT I DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY HE MADE ME FEEL WHEN HE WOULD DO THAT, I LIKED HOW WE COULD HANG OUT AND BE COOL AND THAT THERE WAS NO SEX, AND NO PRESSURE. I WASN'T COMFORTABLE W/HIM DOING WHAT HE DID, AND I WAS IMMATURE IN TREATING HIM SO POORLY. ALL I REALLY COULD'VE DONE WAS TELL HIM IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE AND TO RESPECT MY WISHES. INSTEAD W/THE CRAP THAT I HAD OUT W/GRAMMA, I MISTREATED HIM AND GAVE HIM THE COLD SHOULDER AND TOLD HIM ON THE PHONE NEVER TO CALL ME AGAIN.
HE CALLED BACK AND HE SOUNDED SO SAD SAYING HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHERE ALL OF THIS WAS COMING FROM SINCE WE HAD BEEN JUST FINE THE DAY BEFORE. I HAVE ALWAYS KINDA FELT BAD ABOUT THAT, JUST BECAUSE I WASN'T HAPPY AND IN AN ARGUMENT, HE DIDN'T DESERVE THAT. I DID TELL HIM THAT I WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH ADAM, WHICH WAS A LIE, BUT DIDN'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO TELL HIM TO SHOVE OFF AND FORGET ABOUT ME. HE WROTE ME A LETTER RIGHT AFTER THAT, AND WAS SAYING THAT IF ADAM AND I WERE OVER WHY WOULDN'T I GIVE HIM A CHANCE AND ALL THAT JAZZ. I STILL HAVE THE LETTER SOMEWHERE. I SAVE EVERYTHING! BUT IT WAS KINDA NICE TO SEE A FAMILIAR FACE, AND HE SEEMS VERY HAPPY W/HIS FIANCE WHICH IS GOOD FOR THE BOTH OF THEM. GOOD LUCK. NOW, IF IT HAD BEEN ADAM COMING INTO MY STORE, I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WOULD'VE BEEN LIKE TO DEAL WITH. HA. I PROBABLY WOULD'VE ASKED WHY HE WAS ARRESTED TO SEE IF HE WOULD TELL ME THE TRUTH! HEE HEE.