TONIGHT I HAD GOTTEN TO ACTUALLY HAVE A LONG CONVERSATION WITH MINDY. IT FELT REALLY GOOD. SOME OF THE CONVO WAS ABOUT REGULAR STUFF, BUT MOSTLY IT WAS ABOUT HER BROTHER WILLIE WHOM HAD JUST PASSED AWAY.

FOR ALL THAT WE TALKED ABOUT, I DO FEEL BETTER. I JUST WISH I COULD'VE BEEN CLOSER INSTEAD OF 150 MILES AWAY. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE, AND I FEEL LIKE I WASN'T THIS TIME. I KNOW IT WOULD'NT HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO CHANGE THE FACT ABOUT WILLIE'S DEATH, BUT THE FACT THAT I COULD'VE BEEN THERE FOR HER SUPPORT.

WE TALKED ABOUT HOW LIKE HER DAUGHTER, ON THE MORNING OF HIS DEATH ABOUT 3-5 HOURS AFTER IT HAPPENED, THAT SHE ASKED HER GRAMMA IF SHE TOUCHED HER SHOULDER. GRAMMA SAID SHE WAS IN THE OTHER ROOM, AND WHY SHE ASKED. KAYLYNN SAID SOMEONE TOUCHED HER SHOULDER WITH A COLD HAND. A 5 YR OLD JUST DOESN'T SAY THAT USUALLY W/O REASON.

WE GOT A CHANCE TO TALK A LOT ABOUT IT. SHE TOLD ME ABOUT HOW HER AUNT AND UNCLE CAME TO HER HOUSE AND BANGED ON THE DOOR AT NEARLY 4 AM AND TOLD HER THE NEWS. SHE ALSO MENTIONED THAT WHEN THE PARAMEDICS ARRIVED ON THE SCENE, THAT THEY DRAGGED HIM OUT OF THE BATHROOM WHILE HE WAS ON HIS BACK, BY HIS FEET. THEY TOLD HIS MOM AND STEPDAD WHEN THEY ARRIVED THE SAME TIME THE PARAMEDICS DID THAT THEY HAD NO HEART RHYTHM, AND HOW HER MOM HAD BEGGED THEM TO DO AN EMERGENCY TRACHEATOMY (HE HAD ONE PRETTY MUCH ALL OF HIS LIFE) AND HOW THEY TOLD HER THEY COULDN'T SINCE THERE MIGHT BE TOO MUCH SCAR TISSUE, ETC. SHE TOLD ME THAT WHEN THEY GOT HIM TO THE HOSPITAL, THAT THEY GOT HIS HEART BEATING AND A LITTLE BIT OF BLOOD PRESSURE, BUT IT WAS VERY WEAK. THEY ARE STILL WAITING FOR THE AUTOPSY RESULTS.

I KNOW MINDY IS BEING VERY STRONG FOR HER FAMILY, BUT I DO HOPE SHE HAS HAD ENOUGH TIME TO GRIEVE AS WELL. I REALLY DO ADMIRE HER. I TOLD HER I HAD A HARD TIME BELIEVING IN GOD ANYWAYS, AND THAT THIS MAKES IT EVEN HARDER TO ACCEPT. SHE SAID HOW SHE MAKES IT THROUGH IS THAT THERE HAD BEEN A BETTER REASON FOR HIM TO GO LIKE HE DID. SHE SAID TO ME THAT WITH HIS CONDITION, WOULD IT HAVE BEEN FAIR TO LIVE OUT THE REST OF HIS LIFE, MORE LIKELY NOT HAVING A WIFE, HIS OWN KIDS, ETC? I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT. SHE IS PROBABLY RIGHT. BUT AT LEAST HE REALLY HAD NO REGRETS. HE LIVED A GOOD LIFE. YES, HE DID.

I ASKED IF HER MOM HAD EVER GOTTEN A MOTHER'S RING. SHE SAID NO, BUT THEY WERE GETTING HER ONE FOR MOTHER'S DAY. THEY PLANNED TO GET IT LAST YEAR, BUT SINCE MINDY WAS ON MEDICAL LEAVE/DISABILITY WITH HER PREGNANCY, THAT SHE REALLY COULDN'T CHIP IN. I TOLD HER TO LET ME KNOW WHEN THEY WANT TO ORDER IT AND I WILL PLACE THE ORDER THROUGH MY VENDOR.

ALL IN ALL, I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE I WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN. I DO MISS HIM, I WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY MEMORIES OF ALL OF US GROWING UP. HE WAS TRULY A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL PERSON. WITH LOVE AND PEACE TO TRAVIS "WILLIE" WALKER.

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