HOW COULD I FORGET TO ADD THIS AS PART OF MY DIARY LAST NIGHT?! OK, HERE GOES:

I'M DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD, AND UP AHEAD I SEE A CAR COMING TOWARD ME THAT HAS JUST SO CASUALLY VEERED INTO MY LANE TO AVOID A SPRINKLER AND GETTING HER CAR WET. OK, BUT GET THIS.....SHE DOESN'T GET BACK INTO HER OWN LANE! SHE CONTINUES TO COME IN MY DIRECTION, THEN SHE PROCEEDS TO PASS ME HEAD ON, ON MY SHOULDER SIDE. NO STOPPING EITHER. I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK! I WHIPPED MY CAR AROUND AND FOLLOWED HER. THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 3 MILES. SO FINALLY SHE PULLS INTO A DRIVEWAY, SO I STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AND WHIP OUT MY CAMERA PHONE.

I NOTICE SHE'S JUST SITTING IN HER CAR, AND MY CAM PHONE DOESN'T ZOOM IN ON HER PLATE #, SO I GOT OUT AND CAME UP RIGHT BEHIND HER CAR AND TOOK A PHOTO CLOSEUP. SHE GOT OUT AND WAS ALL LIKE ASKING WHY I WAS TAKING PHOTOS OF HER CAR. I TOLD HER I WAS GONNA LET THE AUTHORITIES KNOW OF HER RECKLESS DRIVING. THEN SHE WAS ALL LIKE TELLING ME I WAS ON HER PROPERTY AND I TOLD HER SHE WAS DRIVING LIKE A FOOL, AND SHE STARTED GRABBING AT ME AND THEN I SAID I'D JUST TAKE HER PICTURE FOR GRABBING AT ME. SHE GRABBED MY ARM, AND I SHOVED HER HAND DOWN AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, MY FIST CAME UP AND I TOLD HER I'D KNOCK HER FUCKING HEAD OFF IF SHE TOUCHED ME AGAIN. SHE STEPPED BACK AND SHE INSTANTLY HAD THE SHAKES! HAHA. SO SHE DIALED 911 ON HER CELL PHONE. SO I DID THE SAME THING. I MOVED MY CAR AND PARKED IN FRONT OF HER HOUSE.

THE SHERIFF'S OFFICERS CAME AND TALKED TO ME FIRST. I TOLD THEM EVERYTHING. THEY TALKED TO HER, AND CAME BACK AND TOLD ME THAT YEAH, SHE ADMITTED TO DRIVING LIKE THAT. THEY ALSO SAID THEY WERE IN DISBELIEF THAT SHE DID THAT JUST TO AVOID GETTING A FEW DROP OF WATER ON HER CAR. SO THEY SAID I DID THE RIGHT THING BY GETTING A PHOTO OF HER PLATE. HAHA. TAKE THAT YOU WRINKLED CUNT BAG! HAHA. SHE'S LIKE 65 YRS OLD! THEN I LEFT. I DOUBT THEY GAVE HER A TICKET SINCE THEY DIDN'T WITNESS HER DOING THE ACT. OH WELL, AT LEAST IT'S A PAPERTRAIL. SHE LIVES IN THE NEXT NEIGHBORHOOD DOWN FROM ME. I'VE SEEN HER BEFORE. NOW I'LL KEEP MY EYES PEELED. I DID SCARE MYSELF BY HOW CLOSE MY FIST CAME TO HER FACE. I WOULDA BEEN SENT TO JAIL!!! YIKES. WELL, I'VE GOTTA GO TO BED SEEING AS I WAS ON THE PHONE FOR 2 1/2 HRS WHILE TRYING TO TYPE THIS UP. NOW IT'S 1:25AM! GOODNIGHT!

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