"BLING BLING" GUIDE
written @ 7:11 P.M. on 01 September 2005

ANOTHER DAY OF BOREDOM. WELL ACTUALLY, I DID KEEP MYSELF PRETTY BUSY THE ENTIRE DAY WITH PROJECTS THAT NEEDED TO BE DONE. SINCE IT'S THE FIRST OF THE MONTH, I RE-PRICED THE NEW BRIDAL CATALOG THAT IS COMING OUT ON SUNDAY. I DID NOTICE THAT THERE HAVE BEEN SEVERAL PRICE INCREASES FROM THE LAST ISSUE OF OUR BRIDAL BOOK. WELL THINGS LIKE THAT DO HAPPEN. GOLD HAS INCREASED A LOT. IT WAS HOLDING STEADY AT ABOUT $300 AN OUNCE, NOW IT'S ABOUT $420 AN OUNCE. YIKES. DIAMONDS HAVE ALSO KINDA GONE UP A LITTLE. TOO BAD. HEY, I BUY MY DIAMONDS TOO! I PAY A HIGHER PRICE EVEN THOUGH THEY GO UP IN PRICE. I STILL GET A PRICE BREAK THOUGH, BUT I'M NOT HARDLY ANY DIFFERENT THAN THE REST OF YOU.

FOR THE PEOPLE ALSO BUYING JEWELERY, TRY TO STAY AWAY FROM THE SMALL INDEPENDENT JEWELERS. I ALWAYS GET THE MOST COMPLAINTS ABOUT THEM. I GUESS I HAVE TO USE THIS AS MY VENTING SESSION AGAIN. I'M NOT TRYING TO SAY THAT RETAIL CHAIN STORES ARE PERFECT, BUT YOU HAVE A LOT MORE OPTIONS. GRANTED EVERYONE USUALLY IN RETAIL HAVE SOME MARKUPS, BUT WHOSE TO SAY THE GUY WHO OWNS HIS OWN STORE DOESN'T? THEY HAVE TO EAT, AND PAY BILLS TOO TO KEEP UP WITH THE UMPTEEN STORES IN THE MALL. PEOPLE USUALLY DO LOVE MORE OF THE STYLES THAT COME FROM THE LITTLE WHOLE IN THE WALL STORE. FINE AND DANDY. WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN HE RETIRES, OR GOES OUT OF BUSINESS? HE SURELY CAN'T FIX WHAT YOU HAVE. I LOVE IT WHEN THE LITTLE GUYS CLAIM THEY ARE GIVING YOU A WHOLESALE PRICE. BULLSHIT! DON'T BUY INTO IT. WALK AWAY! HOW DO YOU THINK HE'S GETTING PROFIT, OVERHEAD, MARGIN, ETC. HE HAS TO SKIM SOME OFF THE TOP FOR HIMSELF. PLUS IF HE INSISTS THEY HE IS GIVING YOU WHOLESALE, ASK HIM FOR HIS INVOICES FOR THAT PARTICULAR DIAMOND. HE IS NOT GONNA SHOW YOU. GET THE POINT SO FAR? ALSO, IF YOU ARE HAVING SOMETHING CUSTOM MADE BY HAND, ASK HIM IF HE IS GOING TO SERVICE IT FOR FREE ANYTIME YOU BRING IT IN. SOME OTHER JEWELERS WILL BE HESITANT TO TOUCH ANOTHER'S PIECE OF WORK ESPECIALLY IF IT IS SO INTRICATE, FOR THEY DON'T WANT TO ASSUME THE LIABILITY ON IT. ONLY A MASTER BENCH JEWELER WILL TAKE IT FOR THEY HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE AND CONFIDENCE THEY WILL PERFECT IT. WHEN YOU DO BUY FROM A MAJOR RETAILER, THEY'VE BEEN ESTABLISHED, IF YOU MOVE OR TRAVEL, YOU'LL BE MORE LIKELY TO BE TAKEN CARE OF IN ANOTHER CITY OR STATE. AND ALSO, NOT JUST BECAUSE I'M A SALESPERSON IN THE INDUSTRY.....BUY THE EXTRA WARRANTIES!!!!! MOST PLACES WILL OFFER A FREE DIAMOND/STONE GUARANTEE WITH PURCHASE IF YOU KEEP UP ON YOUR 6 MONTH INSPECTIONS! PLEASE DO IT LIKE CLOCKWORK. IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! PLEASE BUY THE GOLD WARRANTIES! IT WILL USUALLY COVER YOUR SIZINGS, MAINTENANCE, LABOR SHOP CHARGES BY THE JEWELER, ACCIDENTS OF NORMAL NATURE, REFURBISHMENT, HALF SHANKINGS, TIPS & PRONGS HOLDING THE STONES, TIGHTENING, ETC. IT IS SO WORTH IT. LET'S SAY YOU DON'T BUY IT AND COME BACK A WHILE AFTER, AND YOU HAVE A LOOSE STONE. YOU WILL BE CHARGED THE JEWELER'S FEES. HE CAN MAKE UP WHATEVER PRICE HE WANTS IN HIS CONTRACT. THE STORE IS A MIDDLEMAN. THEY DO GET A PORTION, BUT LIKE IN MY STORE, TO TIGHTEN A SMALLER LOOSE STONE IS $18 EACH STONE OR MORE! WHEREAS YOU COULD'VE BOUGHT THE DAMN WARRANTY FOR ABOUT $20-$100 DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH YOU BOUGHT THE RING FOR. GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE, WHY WOULDN'T YOU BUY A WARRANTY? SOMETHING THAT IS WORN LIKE EVERYDAY ON YOUR HANDS ARE GONNA GET WORN, AND BROKEN, LOOSE, ETC. THEN YOU SCREAM AND BITCH, AND BELLYACHE WHEN YOU HAVE TO PAY THE OUTRAGEOUS FEES. TOLD YOU SO!!!!

I DO RECOMMEND SOME GREAT RETAIL CHAINS IF YOU ARE LOOKING/SHOPPING: HELZBERG'S, FRED MEYER JEWELERS, LITTMAN JEWELERS, BARCLAY JEWELERS, FOX JEWELERS, SAMUEL'S, BEN BRIDGE JEWELERS, BAILEY BANKS AND BIDDLE, WHITEHALL'S, AND TIFFANY'S. ALL ARE REALLY GREAT IN SERVICE, SELECTION, AND WARRANTIES. BELIEVE ME! I AM PRETTY MUCH AN AVID SECRET SHOPPER AND DEMAND THE BEST AND PERFECTION! I AM SO PICKY ESPECIALLY FOR SERVICE AND SELECTION. FOR NOW, I ALSO SAY STAY AWAY FROM THE STERLING JEWELERS COMPANY STORES SUCH AS : KAY JEWELERS, WEISFIELD JEWELERS,JARED'S GALLERIA, FRIEDLANDER'S. I SHOULD KNOW, THEY TOTALLY DESTROYED MY RING AND REFUSE TO TAKE CARE OF IT!!!!

ALSO LADIES, PLATINUM IS SO FUCKING OVERRATED. YOU'RE PAYING FOR THE EXTRACTION FROM THE EARTH (LABOR), AND HOW MUCH IT WEIGHS PER GRAM. AND WE ALL KNOW BY NOW THAT PLATINUM WEIGHS MORE THAN GOLD FOR IT'S MORE DENSE AND PURE. BIG FUCKING DEAL. IS WHY YOU WANT PLATINUM BECAUSE THE HOLLYWOOD SCENE, AND THE ADS PRESSURING YOU TO GET IT, BECAUSE IT'S NEARLY LIKE CHOOSING BETWEEN GENERIC AND NAME BRAND. NOW IF YOUR SALESPERSON TELLS YOU THAT PLATINUM IS GUARANTEED TO LOOK WONDERFUL FOREVER, TELL THEM TO FUCKING CHOKE! PLATINUM WILL NATURALLY OXIDIZE OVER TIME!!!!! IF YOU LOOK AT GRANDMA'S PLATINUM RING SHE GOT BACK IN THE DAY, YOU'LL NOTICE IT LOOKS LIKE AN ANTIQUE. NO, IT JUST DOESN'T NEED TO BE CLEANED. IT WILL DULL, AND LOOK GRAY OVER TIME. IT'S SO PURE OF PLATINUM THAT NATURAL ELEMENTS ARE BOUND TO OXIDIZE. SURE, PLATINUM CAN BE BUFFED AND POLISHED TO AN EXTENT, BUT 90% OF TIME IT WILL NEVER LOOK LIKE IT DID WHEN IT CAME OUT OF THE SHOWCASE. SORRY TO TELL YA THE BAD NEWS. I HAVE NEVER EVER SEEN A GUARANTEE FROM ANY JEWELER, EVEN THE ONES IN YOUR BRIDE MAGAZINES, SUCH AS SCOTT KAY, AND TACORI, TIFFANY'S, ETC. IF THEY SAY THEY WILL GUARANTEE IT, TELL THEM TO PUT IT IN A LOOPFREE WRITTEN CONTRACT STATING THE TERMS, AND WHAT THEY WILL DO IF THEY FAULTER. HA HA GOOD LUCK. ALSO, DON'T LET PEOPLE TELL YOU IT'S SO DURABLE THAT IT'S VIRTUALLY INDESTRUCTABLE. HA HA. YEAH RIGHT. PLATINUM IS SOFT, BUT DURABLE. ALSO, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A KIND OF EXTENDED WARRANTY FOR LABOR ETC, JEWELERS NORMALLY CHARGE MORE TO REPAIR PLATINUM ITEMS BECAUSE THEY TAKE A HIGHER HEAT THAN GOLD, PLUS IT'S SOMETIMES MORE EXTENSIVE TO WORK WITH, THAT'S WHY IT'S MORE! OH YES, IT WILL BEND PRONGS, HAVE STONES THAT WILL BE LOOSE, ETC. I'VE EVEN CALLED THOSE BIG WIG BRANDS IN L.A. AND BEVERLY HILLS, THE SMART TRUTHFUL PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU THEY CAN'T GUARANTEE PLATINUM. WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT BUYING WHITE GOLD?

BUYING WHITE GOLD ITEMS ARE AWESOME. ALSO, THEY ARE LESS EXPENSIVE. $$ BACK IN YOUR POCKET. YES, WHITE GOLD WILL TURN BACK TO A YELLOW COLOR...THAT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL!! DON'T PANIC EVEN IF YOU'VE HAD IT A FEW WEEKS. GOLD FROM THE EARTH IS NATURALLY YELLOW!! THEY USE PLATINUM DERIVITIVES CALLED RHODIUM, TO MAKE THE YELLOW INTO A WHITE APPERANCE. PLUS, THE WHITE GOLD IS JUST AS STRONG AS PLATINUM AND DURABLE. PLUS WHITE GOLD CAN BE RFURBISHED TO ALWAYS LOOK NEW! GOOD NEWS TO YOU! HOORAY! YOUR SKIN HAS ACIDIC LEVEL, WHICH COME OUT OF YOUR PORES ETC. THAT WILL CHEMICALLY WEAKEN AND TURN THE WHITE TO YELLOW. ALSO PEOPLE, STAY OUT OF THE CHLORINATED POOLS AND HOTTUBS! THIS WILL CAUSE YOUR GOLD TO "PIT" (TINY LITTLE HOLES). ALSO DON'T USE BLEACH WITH YOUR JEWELERY ON FOR THE SAME REASON. SO NO HOUSEHOLD CLEANING WITH THE BLING ON YOUR FINGERS. WHEN YOU EAT MORE FRUIT, THE ACID LEVEL IN YOUR BODY RISES ALSO COMING FROM YOUR SKIN!!! KEEP IT OUT OF YOUR HAIR WHEN USING GELS, HAIRSPRAY, MOUSSE, ETC. ALL CONTAIN CHEMICALS! IT'S NOT SO BAD IF YOU HAVE TO EVEN WAIT A WEEK OR LESS TO HAVE YOUR RING RE-RHODIUM PLATED! IT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL WHEN IT COMES BACK FROM THE JEWELER...WHO HAS MORE POWERFUL CLEANING TOOLS AND CHEMICALS THAN THE STORE!!! YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID.

ALSO LADIES, WHEN YOU WEAR LOTION, TAKE OFF YOUR RINGS! HOLY SHIT. IT BEGINS TO STINK AND HARDENS THE LOTION IN BETWEEN YOUR STONES AND MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SLOB WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE HER LOVELY "BLING BLING." IT SHOWS HOW LAZY YOU ARE, AND HOW MUCH YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THINGS THAT SHOULD BE IMPORTANT TO YOU. WHO CARES IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT TO THE MALL EVERY WEEK IF YOU'RE THERE??!! IT'S YOUR RING AND IT WOULD LOOK SO MUCH BETTER IF YOU TOOK 2 MINUTES AND HAD THEM CLEAN IT. ALSO, IF YOUR RING IS STUCK, DON'T LICK YOU FINGER TO GET IT OFF! HOW GROSS. I WILL TELL IT TO YOUR FACE HOW GROSS IT IS AND RUDE. I'LL TREAT YOU LIKE YOU HAVE THE ASIAN FLU! I'LL MAKE YOU PUT IT IN THE RING HOLDER OR PUT IT ON A TOWEL. I AM NOT TOUCHING YOUR SHIT ONCE YOU LICK IT LIKE AN OLD GRANDMA~ FUCK YOU! YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF I DID IT TO YOU!

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